Cat + Ass Navel + Tattoo = WTF?

Grandma NOOOOOOOOOO!

Worst. Tattoos. Ever.

http://www.wallstreetfighter.com/2007/01/lifetime-of-embarrassment-worlds.html

Highway to the Danger Zone

As the self proclaimed 'best venn diagram ever' indicates, its great to let freedom reign. That's right, the tyranny of being forced to wear pants makes it impossible to complete the pursuit of happiness.
That is just unacceptable. This guy takes that idea a bit too far for my liking. I mean it's cool to skydive and all, but there is no need to show everyone your junk flapping in the wind. That is just wrong.

That someone special

There is this guy that wonders the streets round these parts that walks around the streets holding a doll head. Usually its the same blonde doll head, but sometimes he likes to mix things up and go bruenette. He has even been spotted sporting two doll heads at once! No word on if there was any doll head on doll head action.

Speaking of special, here is a post by someone on craigslist:

here's a bunch of guys in a cardboard box before i hide them - i have to hide them when my family comes to visit, or else they'll think i am retarded.

i buy metal stands to hold them up, so they don't fall over. i also get special hats for certain guys.

i like to keep them looking fancy. i really like my action figures, but i face a lot of prejudice from people -- i bring gay guys home from bars and then they see my doll collection and they don't like me any more.
and on the other end, my fellow doll collectors don't like me because i am gay.

Imagine that. You can view the whole glorious post here: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/51526837.html

Sadly the photo of the dude is no longer there :-(

Dude! Sorry about your couch...

4/20

Dear B.A. and Bookaki,

So sorry about that hole I burned in your couch.

Love,
Your Special Friend

Special Olympics Soccer?

Did I ever tell you the story when I was asked what kinds of sports I like to watch and I said "Special Olympics Soccer"?


Yes. It's a true story.


It was back in the days of volunteering for the 'like the Peace Corps but not the Peace Corps' gig. It was when I met Ava's mama and the whole 90210 crew, it was like I was Brenda except I moved from Syracuse not Minnesota and didn't have a twin brother and didn't live in Beverly Hills and my name isn't Brenda.

Any who, everyone is giving normal answers like, " I don't like sports." "The Yankees." "Gator football." "NBA." "Hockey." but then it's my turn to answer and my response is, "Well I never really like watching sports but since we volunteered at the Special Olympics Soccer Tournament...I like watching that."


So our team leader says to me, laughing and with WTF written on her face
"Sooooooo...you like to watch Special Olympics Soccer - is that your answer?!"

Can't get into this blog? There's help for you here...

OK so my friends and I were sitting around a table at the BK Lounge (real location is withheld for protection) giggling and so forth with favorite movie lines being espoused...mine being the two -parter:

"Are you fucking retarded?!"
with the ultimate rebuttal being
"Do you want me to be fucking retarded?!"

Alas, this blog (this glorious piece of Internet paradise) was created by the one and only 'no-I-won't-fix-your-computer' B.A. (as his wife affectionately yells) but some refer to him as 'Spent'.

The premise I had in my mind was to just post stuff that would make either yourself - fucking retarded, or make one poise the question to the general public about another party being fucking retarded. Without the 'fucking' part, it's just not funny. Wouldn't you agree?

Words of wisdom

"You put the bone in Zamboni!"

-Chazz Michael Michaels

Drinking While Driving a Zamboni in New Jersey is Legal?

"According to a New Jersey superior court, it is perfectly legal to operate a Zamboni while good and liquored up, because the ice resurfacing machine cannot be operated on a roadway, and it cannot take passengers."

Read more ->

Bikini Firefighter Burned

You have got to be kidding.

"The bikini-wearing Ohio man, 46, got himself arrested Tuesday on drunk driving and public indecency charges at Mason's Heritage Oak Park. As seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, local police extensively memorialized the arrest, from 360-degree views of Cole in his "very skimpy woman's blue bikini" to the contents of his duffle bag, which was stuffed with other swimwear and women's shoes. One profile shot provides a clear view of the "tan water balloons" Cole, pictured at right, used to fill out his bikini top. As noted in a police report, an aggrieved citizen, Troy Harphant, told Officer Scott Miller that "you need to lock up that pervert" after he spotted Cole allegedly fondling himself."

-via thesmokinggun

50 foot Michael Jackon Robot to roam Las Vegas desert

Oh did I mention the part about lasers shooting out of its eyes? No this is not a plot from South Park. That was Barbra Streisand and Robert Smith. Sadly this is not just a cartoon.

If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."

As absolutely retarded as this sounds I do have to admit a bit of envy. A giant robot in my image smashing building along the Las Vegas strip would be kinda cool. There is no word on the creation of little children robots for the MJ robot's amusement.

Million Dollar Laptops

By appointment only you can now drop a cool million dollars on a laptop at some high end London boutique outlet. Oh goodie! Just what do you get for a million dollars? An anti-glare 17 inch LED backlit display that is self cleaning; I guess that's so you don't have to bother your servants, 128GB solid state hard drive, and a fancy-pants slot loading blue-ray player. There are many large diamonds included but we are assured that they have been incorporated in a tasteful fashion. Minimizing the risk you will be called a pompous twat for dropping a million bucks on a laptop.

Luvaglio CEO Rohan Sinclair Luvaglio told Gizmag earlier today: “Unlike many of the highly priced products being released, we took our time to develop something out of the ordinary with real attention to detail. “

“I didn't want us to simply re-house a laptop into a diamond studded casing, or diamond encrust the entire thing simply to make it expensive. We've put thought in from the keyboard down to the power charger. There is an integrated screen cleaning device and a very rare coloured diamond piece of jewellery that doubles up as the power button when placed into the laptop and also acts as security identification. We have used diamonds elsewhere but have given them purpose.”

Gizmag has more on the laptop if you are interested. But let's make a quick comparison as to what you could do with a million dollars other than blow it on this magical laptop. For $5,600 you can get an Alienware laptop with 400 GB RAID, 2 GB RAM, dual 512MB NVidia® GeForce™ Go 7900 GTX video cards, and a 19 inch screen. If you are a mac dude, you can max out their 17 inch macbook pro at around $3,500. In either case this leaves quite a chunk of change to splurge on other items.

Let's see a fully loaded Porsche 911 Turbo will run you about $130,000. We are still $65,000 short of a fifth of the price of the laptop. So lets allocate that $65 grand for a top of the line ski boat, a Correct Craft Air Nautique 226. Now we are up to about $200k. For another $725k you can get a 3,630 sq/ft house in Orlando with access to the Butler chain of lakes. This allows you to wake board in front of Tiger Wood's house if you so desire. The extra $75k you can spend on coke and strippers throwing an extravagant house warming party. Or you could get a 420 hp Audi RS 4 and have enough cash leftover to purchase a laptop in two years that is twice as fast as your million dollar diamond encrusted computer.

Ghost Riding Retards

Westside niggaz 4 life dawg! Ghost riding made it's glorious debut in the Bay area and was made popular by the local hip-hop scene. Something to be proud of no doubt. As you can see in this video the practice is rather silly and quite dangerous. Thankfully they only injured themselves. Fucking retards.

I'm a good driver

Wow just wow. Had I not seen the video I would say this defied the laws of physics. Somehow this Michael Schumacher protege manages to flip their car from a dead stop in just a few seconds.

ATHF is the Bomb!

Do Lite-Brites make you duck for cover? Perhaps the mere sight of Ignignokt fills you with fear of the dreaded Quad-Glacier. Maybe you are just tripping your balls off and easily suggestible. The discovery of these LED throwies placed the city of Boston in DEFCON 1. In a post 9/11 world it is understandable to error on the side of caution and take these reports seriously, but Boston officials showed no shame by getting duped by this tragic marketing gimmick.

Turner Broadcasting agreed to pay $2 million for costs and restitution for the overzealous police response and pressed charges of placing a hoax device and disorderly conduct on the miscreants that placed the devices.

“Just a little over a mile away from the placement of the first device, a group of terrorists boarded airplanes and launched an attack on New York City,” police Commissioner Edward Davis said in an interview with The Associated Press.

“The city clearly did not overreact. Had we taken any other steps, we would have been endangering the public,” he said.

I know I can sleep safe at night after the courageous actions of the Boston police Commissioner.